Tuesday, August 07, 2012

On being a grown up (nearly)

One month from today, I turn 40.  In fact, today is my little sister's 38th birthday as we have birthdays exactly one month apart.  40 seems like a grown up's birthday to me, when I should have figured out how this all works and what I want out of life.

This past year has been challenging for me. I returned to studying whilst still working full time and successfully completed the first module of my MSc. I've had to deal with some painful family issues which have ultimately shown me how my mother is the strongest and bravest woman that I know.  The past month has been particularly painful as my Uncle died a sudden and very suspicious death which is currently being investigated as murder and has devasted my family.

But in a weird way, it's shown me how many good things I have in my life - a family who love and care for me, friends who have been a rock to me and really understand what makes me tick, a job that I'm good at and is worthwhile and interests outside of work that make me happy and keep me sane. And it's shown me how strong I can be, inspite of all that life can throw at you and finally at 39, I'm the most comfortable I've ever been about who I am.

Earlier this year, I started to compile a list of 40 things that I wanted to do before I turned 40 with the intension of tracking my progress through the year.  Time has meant that most of year has slipped away before I could do it but I have been trying a few different things.  Updates on that to follow soon.

Now if I could just figure out how to cure the insomnia that's keeping me awake tonight then that would tick off one item on my list,



4 comments:

Erica said...

Hi Paula,
Sorry for all that you are going through!

Just take the 40 thing in your stride. It's no bigee!

If you ge that insomnia thing figured out, let me know. It's my number one issue right now too.

Karoline said...

{{{Hugs}}}

ChrisG said...

Happy birthday and sorry for your rough year. As far as the insomnia thing goes, different things work for different folks, and I figure you've tried them all at this time. I suffer from insomnia when worried, which means that I (a) don't worry and (b) keep out of situations that would make me worried. I firmly believe that insomnia is a result of a mind-body disconnect, or a spiritual issue (whatever that is to you). Best of luck to you!

MysteryKnitter said...

I am so sorry you have to go through such ordeal! I can't even imagine, how painful it must be for you. I am glad you have your friends and family by your side.